Month: March 2016

That rapturous feeling

heart-1215344_1280I don’t know how many transformations Wavesongs has gone through by now. It started out as a silly little project I didn’t care much about, which was why I decided to use it as a sort of writing exercise – to see if I had it in me to finish a novel, if I was disciplined enough. As it turned out, discipline was not an issue.

But the finished story didn’t leave me alone – it was awful, every single aspect of it was, and I wanted to do better. I went at it again, from scratch, and wrote it a second time, this time as part of a planned trilogy. It did improve, quite a lot, and was almost published. But I wasn’t entirely satisfied with the story this time, either – it wasn’t right, and all the little changes I made here and there didn’t change that.

Then, I realised I had to start over completely. I hadn’t written what I really wanted to write – I had tried to evade the fact that the couple I wanted to end up together didn’t end up together, because of all sorts of complicated reasons, and how could I ever write a novel where I didn’t fully agree with what was actually happening? A reader will be able to tell if you don’t feel it. If you secretly wish your main character had taken a different path.

So I made radical changes to the story, and knew immediately that the third from-scratch draft would be much, much better than the one before (as it should be). But something was missing, and it wasn’t until I read The Miniaturist that I realised what it was. I’ve thought for so many years that I need to write quickly. Because there are so many ideas in my head, and what does it matter if the writing sucks because no one’s going to read it anyway and I should just aim to finally finish this novel and put it behind me, so I could start with the next one. But that’s not the way to go. I need to do my best with this, I need to take my time. Make this novel as good as I can possibly make it. Because it’s not really about what others think, in the end it’s all down to how I feel about it, what I want to convey. And the thing is this: I wish that I could write a novel that is beautiful, and also true. A novel that could make readers feel the same way about my main couple as I do. It’s a huge and daunting challenge, one I know that I’m probably not skilled enough to take on. But I have years and years to figure it out. I do.

Also: I may have decided to change the first name of my main character. Still surprised by this decision myself, actually, but it will be better this way.

If I was a rich girl

How can a doll be so handsome? ;_;

I don’t collect ball jointed dolls (yet…) but I have a few favourite bjd manufacturers and Souldoll is one of them, together with Iplehouse. I could browse their websites for hours, seriously. So many beautiful details! It wouldn’t surprise me if I have a room filled with dolls by the time I retire 😉

About reading

book-1149031_1280How often do you have time to read? I try to read as many books as I can, but my to-read-list is always full of new titles, new authors, classics I feel like I should have read by now… I wish I didn’t always have to choose between reading and writing – I need to do both, but writing will always be my first priority and afterwards I’ll give the pile of library books on the nightstand guilty looks because I’m too tired when I finally go to bed. But reading is so amazing. I’m always encouraging people around me to read and nothing makes me happier when someone actually listens and finds a book he/she likes.

Right now, I’m halfway through The Miniaturist by Jessie Burton. Amsterdam, 17th century, secrets and mysteries, and stunningly beautiful writing. The kind of novel that wants me to give up even trying to write stories because compared to this book, anything I’ve written is… well. But it’s such a great novel and if you enjoy historical fiction, you should absolutely give it a try.

That one het couple

Well, no – of course there are lots of het couples that I absolutely adore. But I usually don’t feel the same way about het couples that I do about gay couples – there’s just not the same amount of fangirling and general craziness.

But rules must always have exceptions, yes?


I have too many feels just looking at this picture. Too many feels ;_; And if it wasn’t for the fact that the rest of that show turned bad after the second season I would watch it over and over and over again.

Gay love recs: Movies

There are so many great LGBTQ movies out there. Here are a few that I would recommend to anyone looking for a touching and interesting m/m love story:

  1. Weekend (2011) – This is an amazing, tender portrayal of two men and their growing feelings for each other during one intense weekend. Absolutely beautiful.
  2. Maurice (1987) – A classic gay movie based on E. M. Forster’s novel, featuring Hugh Grant, James Wilby and Rupert Graves. Sweet and romantic and perfectly British.
  3. Beautiful Thing (1996) – Love between two working class boys in a British suburb. Awfully cute story that will make you smile.
  4. Ai no Kotodama (2008) – A Japanese movie about two boys who face trouble in their relationship when one of them has to deal with jealousy. Not the best movie ever, quality-wise, but the boys are cute.

There are, of course, lots of others – most gay-themed movies seem to have sad endings, though, and there’s always lots of death and drugs and misery. Which is sad, and I hope there will be less angst and more happily-ever-afters for on-screen LGBTQ couples/characters in the future.

I really want to watch Tel Aviv (Out in the Dark) (2012), but I’m afraid it’s going to be sad and angsty and make me feel bad after I’ve watched it… Does anyone know what it’s like?